CURRENT TIDES

listening to megalomaniac by incubus.

I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM IN LIFE,or just that i dont know what im doing to turn my life around,i have no alternative move,i dont even have a dream let alone have a strategy to make a dream come true. I thought while im working with my uncle i would find out along the way what im going to do in life,so far nothing has come to mind and it has been a couple of years. Sometimes i think what if..what if my mother was still well and alive,that would mean i would still be in kuala terengganu where there are no bad influences and the perfect place to be for a muslim. My mother was a lecturer in a high standard university which means she would have a clue about what my future education would be,my life too would be a lot more cheerful if she was here,living in our own home,going out to eat every night,hahaha,no one in the family knew how to cook for they were all occupied with what their future work would be not their future family which explains both why they got married in their late 30`s. Well i dont know what i want to be but i do have a clue who i want to be, my big brother who is now not married and also in his late 30`s. My brother is nice but a straightfoward person,he doesnt take crap for others probably because hes a hockey player.

 But that is not what i want to duplicate from him,its his knowingness that i want to impower. He probably knew anything i would tell for example if i mention mount everest,he`ll probably say "have you seen the bucket list?thats a good movie"hes also into games which is also the same with me so ive already conquered that. Im not interested in becoming wealthy like he  is,without being wealthy i could still play online games and watch movies online(which is all what i ever do around here). What i really wanna be about him is having the passion about music,i mean he knows a hell lot more than i do and i pride my self for knowing the amount of great music that are out there. Thats the only thing good about me,i could be in a cafe drinking some hot coco and know that the rich kid infront of me although went to college and all that can never appreciate music like i do. Music is my passion,its what keeps me going,even at work if i dont listen to music i wouldnt have the same feeling,i wouldnt have the strengh to work non stop and feel lazy.

 Just so you know i wash dishes,but im the best dish washer youll ever know. I take my work seriously and i do the best i can. I wont take a break until my work is done and wont be all winny(i dont no if thats how you spell it)about it. My dad told me to look for another job which is actually what my brother told my dad,something like being a shopkeeper or else. but if havent found what i want to do. i dont think i will be doing anything else because washing dishes requires work,hard work which makes me harder better stronger and prepared for the next work which im about to devote my self.i couldnt be stronger if i stood 8 hours waiting on people to come in the shop with a fucked up face treating you like dirt,at least while i wash dishes i wouldnt have to take anyones crap. Just move to the music and do the work until you go home a watch movies then comeback to another day of getting jiggy with it on kitchen floor,haha. I think thats enough fo now,like ray said:keep on trolling!"

 OH wait!!i forgot to tell you i met mr najjar the other day. Hes a lecterur in arts from illanois`america which came to visit a friend of my dads and eventually became close to my dad. He came the other day to talk to me about my life(probably dads doing)and i can tell this is a man full of joy and also details. He knew so much i couldnt take my eyes off of him,he gave me some stuff to think about,its amazing how small talk could be so meaningful and he uses sayings such as"every flower blooms on its own hour,you cant make it bloom for it will die"in my case i will prevail probably someday,i have my own hour,you cant force me to become who i dont want,in my brothers case its not that i dont want to go to college,its just hard,ive changed ever since i last seen my mother,studying was always good when she was around,now i dont know the meaning why,its not like my dream is to be millionaire,theres better things in life,like in mr najjar`s case,he was poor when he ask his wife to marry him but not with just love,he showed her respect which if love went away youll still have respect,for if you really respect another human being youll never forget them,(this was not the exact way mr najjar told me,his version was more meaningfull,he to his wife that he wants to marry her but does not love her but by explaining that he respects her and said in time love will come she said yes. What a inspirational man mr najjar..:)

FOOTBALL SEASON

listening to daft punk-da funk

Its not really football season yet but there seems to be many exciting games happening here in malaysia also which involves the malaysian squad. For one week the combined  malaysian team of three squads,malaysia XI malaysia and the olympic squad up against three of the top english premier leagues football teams liverpool,chelsea and arsenal. Also what the malaysian squad and the olympics are up against are singapore which is the qualifiers for the world cup and a whole board of tough teams which is for the qualifiers for the olympics including Japan.. The Malaysian team has since seen more matured these few years after winning the suzuki cup and getting past the first round of the qualifiers for the world cup tournament. Malaysian fans has also grew and started getting their hopes back up that has not been so evolved than the golden days where the Malaysian team was at its best. Well tonight is the game between Malaysian olympics squad against chelsea so i will be showing my utmost support in front of the tv haha,cant afford to see it live. I hope they show great courage and play skillfully so they give malaysian fans a little confidence for the game against singapore.

REDSATIONAL

listening to magnetic man-getting nowhere.

so here i am with my cousin and his friend off to a 5 hour drive to the capital city of Malaysia(Kuala Lumpur)to watch a football match between Malaysia XI and one of the biggest football clubs in history(Liverpool FC). ive been a liverpool fans ever since i started hanging out with my cousin when i was 15 years old and sorta got addicted by having to watch what was on tv for i had no choice. Now i guess im thankful for having glued to the tv for watching what ever was on. Well we got to kuala lumpur safely and chilled out at one of the raising cafe`s in KL called Mambo New Village for about an hour till we made our way to yazids sisters home in balakong and stayed a night,i forgot to mention that on our way to Kuala Lumpur the car wouldnt start a few times which we had push the car in order to start that kinda made the trip more meaningful with all the difficulties and such. It happened again while we were in KL but we took care of it. From balakong we made our way to Cyberjaya to obtain the tickets for the liverpool game from my sister who bought them then headed to Kuala Lumpur Convention centre(KLCC) to watch harry potter at the cinema,there we met one of yazid`s friend named anis who accompanied us while watching harry potter(the picture with me and her). It was then that the car made trouble again so we decided to cut the night short and head on home. The next day was painful as i had a huge headache the night before and didnt get enough sleep because we had to get up early and take the train to Bukit Jalil so we didnt have to cue and also to make sure we get the nice spots.

The second we got of the train we were hearing chants from a distant,it was full of red shirts crazy looking hats,people of all ages,full of shops selling only liverpool merchandies and the start of the best liverpool feeling im ever gonna have. We arrived so early that we had to wait a while outside the stadium on a hot day but luckily the weather changed and it was pouring a bit so they let us in ahead of what was scheaduled. The second we entered the stadium there was nothing much really just a lot of empty seats then after an hour an a half people began to fill the seats it was mayhem.It was like a riot and this was even before the stadium was half full. People began acting even more psyched when they heard the liverpool youll never walk alone(YNWA) song which i had never heard let even remembered the lyrics and this was even before the liverpool players began entering the stadium which showed the true spirits of malaysian fans not including myself which i hardly standed let alone shout. I was kinda like an observer then a reactor. And after a while ofcourse the players came and the whole stadium went crazy and yada yada. What i really was looking foward was the malaysian team showing some class against an international team which they did in an extraordinary manner that thrilled me so much i almost lost my camera. well the game ended 6 to 3 which malaysia scored awesome three goals. it was an experience that you can never have unless you see it for yourself. i got to see my favourite team and the raising unbeatable malaysian team face to face. after it all ended we exited after about ten to twenty minutes and you could see what 100000 people looks like. It was elbow to elbow trying to get out of there haha,but it was ten times worth it,when we got to the train station the police had to force people to go within stages for it is dangerous for to many people to be on the platform.well we got on and railed all the way home. so here i am in a mamat store waiting on to get home.i hope it would be a safe ride,anyway enjoy the photos that i will upload when im home.:)