considering the street in front my house keeps buzzing with sirens day in day out, you gotta know thats the city life, the capital of civilization, where people most likely breed the most until civilization itself crumbles from being not able to catch on to others. thats what im afraid the most.BEING LEFT BEHIND. well i got a choice to move forward in the world which is to continue studying but considering how lazy i am i can only prepare for the worst if i get in a good college,being a failure. theres not much that im interested in studying except english and to become a teacher but what if i end up not suitable or like  to teach. like my mother she was a real teacher,kind,warmhearted,intelligent and her students loved her. me  im just some loser who hangs at home all day long stalking other people on the internet. what can i do in life which really suits me,probably some messed up things and stuff that doesnt get much respect, but hey god has his plans, i dont whats gonna happen to me, nothing really which had impact has happened in my life but i cant wait for ever either. i wish i had a clue on what to do but that too is my fault for not trying enough to find means. what can i say life hasnt really clicked to me i suppose. feeling safe in my comfort zone not really wanting to do anything. why should life throw me a bone, this is worst too for feeling sorry for myself. maybe im just wishing on a miracle to happen to me but miracle happens to people who deserve it i suppose, this is beginning to become pathetic so im just gonna stop here, havent blogged in a long time,just really thought i gave it a shot to express you know,maybe somebody who reads this got the answer for me. but heres to wishing that comes true.:D